"Just give us the stone!" My father calls in anger."Your siding with the bad people! Come back to us, were the true keepers of Scaleaha!" He grumbles on."We were being controlled by Zeatra! He said that unless we held you captive and kept our love for you at bay he would kill you! Oh my darling daughter don't you see!" "Don't listen to him," Feskara says, slowly recovering."
"They're lying! Can't you see that!"
"My darling daughter, you obviously don't trust them, why else would you not tell them you had the stone."
I shake my head tears streaming down my face.
"After all you did to me! All you did you expect for me to just trust you? That I would forgive you? I almost died and you didn't care! All parents would rather see themselves die than to keep a huge secret from them! I heard what Zeatra said to you and the threat wasn't to me but to you! Your a pile of scum now LEAVE! Please dad, just leave."
He looks at me and I see his love but I turn away my face.
I expect them to fight before even thinking of leaving but they slip out the window in silence, as though none of this had happened leaving me and Feskara alone.
"You have the stone. You didn't tell. You pay with blood."
Until that moment I thought I had made the right decision, but only now do I realize, that the so called 'goodies', only wanted me dead.
"They're lying! Can't you see that!"
"My darling daughter, you obviously don't trust them, why else would you not tell them you had the stone."
I shake my head tears streaming down my face.
"After all you did to me! All you did you expect for me to just trust you? That I would forgive you? I almost died and you didn't care! All parents would rather see themselves die than to keep a huge secret from them! I heard what Zeatra said to you and the threat wasn't to me but to you! Your a pile of scum now LEAVE! Please dad, just leave."
He looks at me and I see his love but I turn away my face.
I expect them to fight before even thinking of leaving but they slip out the window in silence, as though none of this had happened leaving me and Feskara alone.
"You have the stone. You didn't tell. You pay with blood."
Until that moment I thought I had made the right decision, but only now do I realize, that the so called 'goodies', only wanted me dead.
So who are the goodies and who are the baddies?
Or does Holiya have no-one to turn to?
Find out in chapter 14!
The second to last chapter of this senic adventure!
9 kommentarer:
when you said "-----------you pay with blood" it didn't sound quit right maybe you could try, you will pay, pay with your useless blood something like that if its not her blood change it so it is!
sorry if these advices stupid and irratable, please tell me if you want it to stop! and sorry i dont think that mistake was on this post ooops!!! but if you come accross please try and change it and also don't change the format of you story because it's kinda harder to read.
your friend,
misscandy
aaaaaaaaaaahh!!!! onley two more chapters? eeek! thank you for posting another scaleaha. it once again fills me with mystery and wonder, yes! THANK YOU! and i thought the advice you gave miss candy today was really cool, and i admire you for that, keep it up!
when you say, "i shake my head tears streaming down my face", it wasnt descriptive as it coud've been and there should be a comma, like this, "i shake my sore head, tears were streaming down my bruised face" do you see how i changed it, and do add the were.
realize is realise you spelt it realize.
YOu said, "i almost died and you didn't care" i think its supposed to be..."i almost died, and you didn't care" see the difference? i stuck in the comma.
please tell me if these comments are interfering with your story...i feel kinda guilty of that.
Ms Candy, Your advice is great but the sebtences that you are changing already fit how that should into the story.
Zup! its ma! again, ummmmmmm ive got nothing to say but an eight out of ten, well done. the eight was becdause one no authors are as short has you, you can fix that with high heels. and secondly You are too skiny-authors aint skinny!
ms candy, im not kitty kat or anything but people could find that offending, please be careful what you say
es Ms Candy Its kind of a bit up setting for me for you to say that.
Please think first
sorry but isnt, in a way a good thing? think about it, you dont want to be obese and well jess hates tall people...
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